Story of Mackenzie's birth

Wednesday Feb 18.
Baby late for appointment.. Doctor says will induce on Tuesday.

Monday Feb 23
5:59am Baby decides it wants to choose its own birthday and it's time to take a walk on the outside. Contractions 10 mins apart.
10:00am Doctor calls and suggests it might be a good time to come in. Kendra decides that she needs to clean house, do makeup and drop the rabbit off.. Contractions 8mins apart. Russell's heart rate at stroke levels.
10:08am Russell able to teleport wife to hospital 23km away. Contractions 4 mins apart.
11:00am Contractions 2 mins apart. Topped up oxytocin to speed up contractions. 0.5mm dilation. Doctor puts in epidural.
1pm Baby changes mind and decides it's too nice a day to be outside (this is where we should have realised baby was a girl). Sets up camp and goes nowhere. 1cm dilation.
5pm Doctor decides its time to come out. Wheeled into theatre. Doctor realises epidural put in wrong place - it's doing nada other than making one leg numb. Tries something else. This seems to work better.
6pm Doctor cuts hole in abdomen and reaches for baby. Doctor calls baby a scallywag. Wedged under Kendra's 6pack and won't come out.
6.05pm Kendra complains she's feeling cold. That's because her bp has dropped to 50. Madly having 3 bags of saline pumped into her.
6.45pm Kendra's 6pack becomes a 4pack - Baby pulled out with gouged eyeballs, growling, wedged no longer. Doctor holds up gruesome blood encrusted baby. Husband of year says - "gees that's an ugly baby"...
7.00pm Baby cleaned up. Husband says "gees now she's all pretty" and gets a nice cuddle. Kendra's lippy is still on and she looks suitably glam during both labour and major surgery - what a marketing opportunity for Revlon!
8.00pm Kendra back in room and says she is feeling sore - told that she can have a Panadol for the night. Pain score 4-5

Tuesday Feb 24
8.15am Husband goes to work after paying $115 to lie on the floor.
9.00am Kendra complains pain worse than contractions. Nurse rereads chart and realises that it should have been Pethedine not Panadol. Pain score 8 without Pethedine. Pain score now "Happy smiley face" with Pethedine. Birth forms explained and completed under the influence. Baby name now AppleMoonbeamFlowerChild.
3pm Russ renames child Mackenzie Trudy.


Wednesday Feb 25
Learning about baby language.
Going pink - hungry
Going pink - hot
Going pink - needs nappy changed
Going pink - needs cuddle
Going pink - wind
Looking forward to romantic dinner provided by hospital on Friday. Husband still paying $115 per night to sleep on floor, grumpy and giving out high number of detentions at school. Kicked in head by nurse in morning. Mackenzie eats, poops and sleeps. Is suitably adorable. (update 28/3: Hospital acknowledges fee is exorbitant and agrees to waive it.. yay!)

Thursday Feb 26
9am Moved to nice room with bed for two. Mackenzie eats, poops and sleeps. Still adorable.

Friday Feb 27
5pm Romantic dinner set up. Comprises plastic flowers, plastic tray and red tablecloth. Can't stop laughing. Russell realises that he has been doing it wrong all these years. Promises to buy plastic flowers in future and some plastic trays. Mackenzie eats, poops and sleeps. Even more adorable.

Saturday Feb 28
5pm Go home. Mackenzie decides she has slept enough and goes pink at irregular 2 hr intervals. This adorable thing doesn't seem to wear off. Parents realise that they are clueless but are enjoying the ride.

Sunday Mar 8
It's great to be home.. We're having a special time and Mackenzie has been wonderful spending much time hiccuping and creating frothy milkshake pants. She's so cute albeit we are a little biased. Russ denies being wrapped around Mackenzie's little finger, he just does whatever she wants, whenever she wants. He has taken a couple of weeks off to care for Kendra during her recovery, and then Mackenzie's wonderful doting grandparents will stay with Kendra until the school holidays. We're learning all her little messages and enjoying her windy smiles.

Life is good.